My Autumn

Summer is turning into fall.
The atmosphere begins to look very reflective.



It's Saturday. I feel fine.
Sky is gray, trees are dead. I can smell the death of summer outside. I don't know what it is but miserable weather makes me alot more optimistic to what I want to do with my day. I'm usually anxious/depressed/stressed and I don't know. I'm on no medication and I feel really relaxed and fine. Which is VERY cool. I think I'm gunna order pizza later. =] Maybe carve a pumpkin or something. Tops laying in bed all day right?

I miss him so much.
I remember these months chilling with him.
We did a whole bunch of shit around this time of month.
God. I would give so much for just one more day in #24. Just one.
Life was so perfect. Besties for the resties.
I'll stop talking about it though. It's just negative.
Get's things nowhere.

Halloween is close. I can sense that too.
Love that. =D
but again.. I wish I could live it with my best bud.
UGHHHHH. I'm killing my own buzz here.
Hmm.. I play neopets again.
Addicted. Don't even care. haha

Uhmm.. I guess thats all.
Monroe has a show on the 23rd with a bunch of other bands.
Of course it's a supernova show. *rolls eyes*
Thing is, his bands going so I hope it's a good night.
It just hurts still.

Oscars

I said I'd put up a video of my tiger oscar darlings.
Here they are. =]

Lions, and Tigers and Trends. Oh my!

I just woke up. It's 1:19 PM.
Thank god. I seriously needed to catch up on sleep.
I've been so stressed lately. UGH. School absolutely sucks camel dicks.
I dyed my hair last night. Don't worry darlings, I got rid of the blonde.
Back to black. YOUR WELCOME.
A few weeks ago, I found out a bunch of people I know have blogs.. and
it's like holy shit lame, because it's becoming a trend I think. I've been doing these
forever and of course, eventually it becomes a fucking trend just like everything else I do. -.-
I swear there's like a goblin who watches my life and writes down shit I do.
And THEN he goes and tells people what it is, and somehow it becomes trendy?

Example 1: I was the first person to spike the back of my hair in my school way back..
I won't say any names but I think some people may know what I'm talking about..

Example 2: Bands I like. Don't even get me started on this one. I'll listen to a band like
crazy, then like.. mabey a MONTH later, it will be on everybodys shirt and I'll loose taste
for them because now it's some generic bullshit that isin't unique to me anymore >:[

(However I do understand that I should listen to the band for the music, not how society
like it.) Still.. it pisses me off.

I hate trends. I hate accidentally starting them. Really lame.

I've been playing halo alot lately. I'm getting really good.
If you happen to be playing online and you see a user named BuriedHope,
THATS ME! I'LL DESTROY YOU. =]

Text animal of the week is..

Y snake! =]
--
/ \
) )
( (
) )
( (
v

Will I be doing that once a week!?!?! =D
..

No.

GALRHA9EGWHRGVO!!!

Nothing interesting happened today.
I calculated I have an estimate 25,000 days left on earth.
I also miss old school REAL deathmetal. before all this 'core' shit emerged, we had GORE.
DONT FORGET THAT. 0_0

I got a new fishy.
Albino Tiger Oscar.
My old one has accepted him as a buddy, I thought he might tear him to shreds.
I'll put a picture of him. Mabey a video later.

I actually have alot to say. I'd just rather not put it on the internet..
I've been thinking alot about everything lately as usual. Everything seems to be changing.
But in a good way. Like how they used to be. I talked to Jason. Won't get into it, but I feel
really happy with how things are going right now. www.myspace.com/asnightfallssilent CHECK
THEM OUT!! They're super awesome. As for Mayhem.. I'm band-less for a while. Well local bandless atleast.. Monroe ended.
But don't worry. We'll be back as The Autumn Syndicate ! Good stuff!!
What else.. as you may or may not know.. I have a severe anxiety problem. Lately i've been fine.
A little depressed earlier in the month, but things are changing. For the best. I guess thats the main theme of this blog. Change is real. I know that much of what I can grasp in reality. Things get good and bad, and right now it's deffinently increasing from the shitty despondency I sometimes get.
I'm really excited to see what life holds next for me. It's me and Jessicas two year anniversary today. She'll be at my school soon but as of now she's having some problems at home. And I respect that and still love her to pieces. No matter how life works.. I wouldn't be able to climb out of the bad times without her. She's like my life raft sent out to me in a terrible storm. I treasure her love so much. She's everything to me. We taught eachother alot in these two years. I can't imagine how much harder things would be without her help.
What else.. my wisdom teeth aren't hurting anymore which is awesome because all the tylenol was really messing with my anxiety pills. Felt like shit. see. theres another good thing.
My journey is a very complex one in this life. I'm constantly asking myself metaphysical questions that my mind is just too small to understand. Something cool happened yesterday. I was in guitar class at school and the bell was about to ring for the next period and I noticed I didn't have my class schedual and I had no idea where my class was gunna be. I thought I would have to search the whole school for the damn paper to find wherever I left it, And right before the bell rings, my friend John says, does anyone have media arts next? And I was just.. 0__0
That just happened to be my next class that was gunna be hell finding. Idn, I guess you had to be there. It was really insane. But yeah.. haha. Stuff like that happens to me and it makes me think more about like karma and stuff. Idn. Oh thats my new fishes name by the way.

Karma

wisom teeth gone!

Here you have it ladies and gents.
Before and after the extraction of my wisdom teeth.
My mouth really hurts right now.

=[ =[ =[

ohmygod. today fucking sucks.
I have to get my wisdom teeth removed in less than 3 hrs.
Which pretty much sucks camel dick because I couldn't eat anything last night and I couldn't sleep and now I'm fucking STARVING!! Mabey it's because I'm thinking about it too much.
I'm gunna post the video of how I was after the operation because the drugs the put in you really fuck you up. It will be funny. I'll post it.
Seriously though. I'm really not excited for this shit. They put me to sleep with a mask, and inject me with a needle and I pass out, then they rip out for of my teeth, and then I can't eat shit for two weeks. UGH. oh well. 2 weeks from now this whole thing will be done I guess. fuckk though.

wish me luckk. =[
next post i will be in severe pain. yay..